Thursday, August 20, 2009

Meeting the Others

We were at a friend's birthday party when we were introduced to someone else who has multiple personalities, and in fact encountered two people there like that. We got along well, then were invited to a weekly get-together. This is a support group type of thing which involves discussing different aspects of ourselves, doing crafts, and having a good time.

It sounds interesting, and sounds like it could be fun, but it makes us distinctly uneasy. We have trouble dealing with ourselves and our own identities, and attempting to find a method for dealing with others is daunting.

I think a part of it is may be connected to how we identify with people. People we see, we identify as 'that person'. Online, when dealing with people through their avatars, we dealing with each avatar as an individual, regardless if they're played by the same person or not. Thus, while Samantha deals with her boyfriend, I deal with her boyfriend's female avatar, and we consider them two separate individuals who happen to hold one host.

This is, however, different from dealing with someone face to face. If they switch, we don't have the usual cues to deal with them accordingly (much like nearly nobody we know can deal with it with us), and this actually bothers us. We want the cue so we can deal with them accordingly, and want a method to deal with the change-ups so we can interact with people appropriately.

The other problem, and one harder to admit, is that at times Kit has doubts about himself and our identity compared to his identity. Where some people question their sanity, he's walking the other path, asking himself if we exist or not. Now, you would think that the answer would be clear - we talk with him, and each other, and come out to talk with others, so we must exist, right? Or, he would not hear us, we would not be out and interacting, and thus we do not exist.

Our encounters with others like us have been fleeting at best, and there is some apprehension that we will be shunned. Are we like them? Do we have the same conditions or patterns or anything of the sort? Samantha, I think, wants validation, but she is afraid of it. Kit worries that we're "all in his head" or something of the sort. Shawn finds it ironic that after tormenting Kit for months and living with him for years, that he's now questioning his insanity. *snerk*

I don't think we need validation, but it may help us to learn more about ourselves if we actually go there some time. It is on a Sunday, and we have difficulty getting there, but it may be for the best if we do find out how to go there. Or, alternatively, to invite people to our place in the future, once the house is cleaned up. You can not face your fears by running away from them.

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